英検1級英作文の練習 9回目

ほぼ毎日英作文をやっています。これ9個目です。試験までに30個書く予定です。
今回の３つBodyの分量がほぼ均一となっていて、内容もそんなに悪くはないとおもいます。しかし、書くのが少し遅かったため30分を超えてしまいました。

●今日のお題
Should advertising for harmful substances such as alcohol and tobacco be more heavily restricted?

●自分の解答例（219単語・所要時間33分）

    Allowing advertisement of harmful substances is one of the worldwide and controversial problems in each country. Someone may consider those advertisements are not harmful. However, I am inclined to believe that the harmful substances should be more strictly restricted. This is due to the fact that alcohol and tobacco have negative impacts on our health, economic growth, and education levels.

    Firstly, undoubtedly, alcohol and tobacco can deteriorate people’s health. This truth has been verified by countless papers. Moreover, according to some of the papers, the average age of people who do not touch alcohol and tobacco is ten years longer than those who often drink or smoke.

    Furthermore, alcohol and tobacco can worsen economic growth. Experts say that regular smokers spend one hour smoking during working time. This means that smoking can decrease productivity. In addition, drunkers can not concentrate on their tasks, which is also a serious concern for firms.

    Last but not least, young people are easily susceptible to those harmful advertisements. Starting drinking and smoking from young age will prevent them from concentrating on study. The officials of the Education Department warns that it can lead to a detrimental consequence in the future.

    Taking the above mentioned into consideration, I am of the opinion that we should more heavily restrict advertising for harmful substances more heavily.