英検1級英作文の練習 2回目

今回から時間を測ってやってみました。

●今日のお題
Agree or disagree: Extreme social inequality will never be eliminated?

●自分の解答例（226単語・所要時間40分）

    Extreme social inequality is a worldwide and a controversial problem. There are some people say that we can solve this problem by enacting laws. But, I do not think so. Personally, I agree with the idea that extreme social inequality will never be eliminated. I have three points to elaborate on the reasons of my opinion.

    The primary reason is that our social structure has educational and economic drawbacks. Well educated people have much more opportunities to be rich because companies are eager to hire them even if it will cost a lot of money. If people want to have a higher education, they have to prepare enough money for tuition fee. Unfortunately, this is not the case for the poor. Therefore, it is difficult for the poor to improve their economic situation.

    Furthermore, the development of information technologies is one more cause of expanding of social inequality. IT experts say that people who have deeper knowledge of information technologies earn more money than those who are not familiar with information technologies.

    Last but not least, using laws to eliminate the social inequality is not a good idea because it can easily decelerate our economic activities. Once we have sluggish economy, all people will experience financial difficulties.

    Taking the above aforementioned into consideration, I am of the opinion that extreme social inequality will never be eliminated.

●感想
・時間オーバーしたが前回よりは速かった
・自己レビューでスペルミス10個、文法ミス3個みつかった
・2番目のボディの内容は1番目とほぼ一緒
・赤文字は先生添削から借用したもの